BLOG: One Woman's Battle to Wash Her Hair

The other day The Beau and I were contemplating whether to go for a run or go to Tribe - a SoulCyle-like spin class in our neighborhood. I told him I could either go to the gym or for a run, but Tribe was out. My hair had been washed the day prior and a session at Tribe would require a full scrub post-workout, which was not in my schedule.

He can’t believe that my entire week’s workout schedule centers around which days I plan to wash my hair. Which got me thinking - how much of my decision making it based upon this one simple need?

I’m glad you asked . . .

Hair vs. Clothing

I often have to choose an outfit based on my hair. To save time I will use a beach wave spray, giving my hair a lovely tousled, albeit slightly homeless, looking appeal. This look only works with certain outfits and so some outfits are put back into the closet if it is a tousled hair day vs. a fresh blow dry hair day.

Hair vs. Everyday Life

Do you ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed? I do, and often it’s with day-old hair that won't cooperate. Some days day-old or two day-old hair requires nothing more than a quick brush. Other days reinforcements are required and sometimes this reinforcements should be a Xanax to keep me from freaking out about the hideousness of the situation. These are days best spent working from home, in sweat pants, hidden from the general public.

Hair vs. Work

Some clients only know me as Sarah Jane - the creative director with her $hit together. And others have never seen me with my hair down, for I have had to put great care into hiding day(s)-old hair from the realities of balancing motherhood, work and working out. I put great consideration into when to schedule meetings based on trying to accommodate and prioritize clients, while taking into consideration whether I need to run that morning or if I can skip a workout. Which leads us to . . .

Hair vs. Exercise

If I attend Tribe I have to wash my hair, no matter what. Therefore, I have to schedule Tribe on hair wash days and vice versa. If I plan to run and the weather is not super humid, nor is it raining, I can generally get away with a quick post-run rinse in the shower and without having to wash my hair. This also applies to yoga and most gym workouts. Which means I can only schedule so many hair-washing-required workouts in a week.

Hair vs. Sanity

When my husband asks “Would you like to go for a run or to Tribe?” he’s simply asking for a yes or no answer. What most men do not realize is the true thought process taking place in our heads. It goes a little something like this:

“If I go to Tribe I need to wash my hair after, so if we go to the 9:30 am class then I’ll be in the shower by 10:45 or 11 am at the latest. I have a meeting at 1 pm, which means I have to be ready by 12:30 pm, which means I only have 30 minutes after getting ready, to check email and take care of some work. If I wear my hair wavy and skip the hair dryer then I have a full hour to get some tasks done. However, if I do go to Tribe then I can skip getting ready for the morning, which saves me an extra 30 minutes so I can check email before school drop-off. Although, if I go for a run I can be done by 9 am instead with 2.5 full hours to work before my meeting. However, I do have two meetings tomorrow and one the following morning, so today would be the best day to wash my hair. If I work after my meeting and after dinner then that will make up for not getting much work done between Tribe and my afternoon meeting today.”

. . . And so the answer to my husband becomes, yes, we can go to Tribe at 9:30 am.

15 Reasons I’m Pissed About My Miscarriage

Please note, if you are one of my parents—ok, my dad, please do not read. Today’s post is too much information (aka TMI).

In true mother from, I am four weeks late sharing this post—though if you follow me on Instagram then you already know that we had a miscarriage. Next week I’ll go into details on what that means. This is also your warning that if you do not want to read about miscarriages, then ignore next week’s post.

So both my therapist and life coach say there are different stages of grieving (that’s right, I have all the help). I’m not even sure what stage I’m in and compared to many scenarios, mine feels minute. But can I just take minute to complain to say . . . I’M PISSED!

As part of the grieving process, I’d like to share with you the most ridiculous, but overlooked reasons it sucks to have a miscarriage and what life is like after when you’ve suddenly stopped being pregnant.

Please note—today’s post is meant to be humorous in an attempt to move on. In no way does it reflect my attitude towards others who have been in this situation nor is it meant to make light of the tragedy that many go through with miscarriages.

So without further ado the list of all the reasons I’m pissed about having a miscarriage.

1. Weight Gain to Lose

I am not someone for whom pregnancy is kind. I generally pack on weight immediately in pregnancy, and then taper off. I miscarried right at the end of my 1st trimester, and now I have 1st trimester weight to lose. Great, just great.

2. The Anticipation of Morning Sickness

Nothing like looking forward to trying to get pregnant again, and knowing what awaits is yet another round of morning sickness. And yes I know all pregnancies are different, but I can guarantee I will have horrific morning sickness again. It is my future.

3. More Weight Gain to Lose

Oh right, because after a miscarriage you feel horrible and want to enjoy ice cream to give yourself a mental break from the physical weight gained while having been pregnant, coupled with the emotional weight of no longer being pregnant. And then you wake up another 5 lbs heavier. Just great.

4. Pregnancy Clothes that Fit and Don’t Fit

Glad I spent a ton of money on pregnancy clothes, which still fit because I still look somewhat pregnant. And yes I’ll use them in the meantime, but it feels like a cruel joke every time I put on a pair of pregnancy underwear.

5. Random Bouts of Crying

I think that goes without saying.

6. Hormonal Rage and All The People You Want to Punch

Did you know after a miscarriage your hormones quickly shift and it’s like the worst day of PMS every single day? I didn’t. It’s been a joy, let me tell you.

7. Not Getting My New Diaper Bag

Just saying. I already had my new mini-baby registry ready to go. And I was ready for that new diaper bag, and now I have to wait . . . again.

8. Not Getting My New Stroller

Yes, I could go out and buy a new one, but I wanted everyone else to help buy my new stroller.

9. Cheesy Miscarriage Jewelry That is Either Ugly or Feels Like a Slap in the Face

Now my Instagram feed is inundated with ads for “remember life” mementos and that’s super annoying. Also see #6 - Hormonal Rage.

10. Pregnancy Instagram Bump Photos [and People You Want to Punch]

Nothing like bump photos of that Instagram follower who is pregnant and showing off the bump you would have had, because your due date was the same. I think of all the post-miscarriage scenarios, this is one of the hardest to handle.

11. Explaining to your Male Intern - So not awkward, by the way.

Yup. It’s been a summer of education in more ways than I’m sure he had wished for—but at least I’m preparing him for life.

12. Saying Goodbye to Comfort Foods and Right When You Could Use Them

So it’s true—when you’re pregnant, your body automatically helps correct immunities such as if you’re gluten intolerant or lactose intolerant. Not only did I lose a child, I had to immediately stop eating bagels and donuts and sandwiches. Just great.

13. A Funny Looking Belly Button During Bathing Suit Season

So I had a laparoscopic surgery with my D&C because the OB/GYN thought she punctured my uterus. Which is to say they went in through my belly button to check. Well, now my belly button looks different. That sucks too.

14. The Joys of PPD, PMS & Your Period

So apparently you almost always get postpartum depression after a miscarriage. Didn’t know that lovely little tidbit. Did you also know that PMS starts to kick it right around the time you start to feel better? Which basically restarts all of the rage. Oh and my favorite, your period will probably occur around the time you’re finally done healing from the actual miscarriage. So that’s cool too.

15. Not Being Done with Babies

We would’ve been done with kids and I was already anticipating when to schedule that ol’ snipping appointment for the husband. But alas, not so much.

Throw in a few more entries titled Rage and Rage Against Weight Gain and therein lies how I’m doing these days. 

On a positive, the amount of love and support I have received from all of you has been amazing and all of the stories from fellow women in the similar situation has been tremendously helpful.

Love to all!